you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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