I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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