If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
did you just send me my own nude
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
