I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
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Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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