my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize