I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
