alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you traded sex for a burrito?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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