do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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