My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
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i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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