I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
