i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Do vagina's smell?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Sorry about my life...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
