oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize