i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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