so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize