Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
