So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
