Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize