do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
