What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
