Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Someone signed my nipple.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
