I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize