I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
