It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
