I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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