Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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