Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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