Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize