I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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