Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I love having hate sex.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Terrible idea I love it
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
