Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
