Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
