Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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