dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
