ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Alive.
So much puke
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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