I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
