hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
