remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
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