i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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