I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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