The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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