ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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