In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We are two peas in an std pod
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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