In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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