dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
PANTIES FOUND
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
