the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
