So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
