I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
