i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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