he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
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Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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