I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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