Don't you send me to vm
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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