i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
OPIZZABONMYDICK
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
